Before you can say “I’ve torn my Achilles”, the World Cup Finals will have started. And, with that in mind, I thought it might be appropriate to post some pictures of football boots, particularly those that run counter to the modern trend of using melted down Barbie dolls for the uppers (cf Messi – the “Messi-ah” can wear what he likes).

First up, for those that like to coordinate their pre-match trainers and on-pitch boots, you could do a lot worse than the adidas 1966 and Samba LEA 523s. Oddly, both were created to deal with hard pitches (but of very different sorts); the samba was released in ’62 for use on frozen pitches and the adidas 1966 is a recreation of the boot that was worn by 20 out of the 22 players in the ’66 World Cup Final and designed to deal with the exceptionally dry pitches.

Nike Tiempo Premier 94:

The adidas World Cups have been around forever. Well, almost; 1978 to be precise. This version has the original stitching pattern on the upper and “fab” red studs that also feature on the medicine bag. (“fab” was fellow columnist Annejkh’s description).

Pele, Maradona, Cyruff and Eusebio all wore the Cat and the King XL is a celebration of that heritage. The edition shown here is the “Eusebio” and I particularly admire how puma pearlized the leather as an additional homage to the “Black Pearl”. Although the Rio red colour might be too much for some, it’s undeniably a striking boot (please forgive the awful pun – if it’s not cut from the post I win a bet!).

The adidas Copa Mondial is the best-selling boot of all time and this premium leather version comes with the same clean lines and direct injected outsole that have made the boot such a global success over the last 28 years.

Photography: Andy Barnham

During a recent visit to Paul’s Hat Works in San Francisco, a kind representative, Olivia, nonchalantly pointed out that I have a “large, really long and asymmetrical head”. She didn’t intend to insult me (I hope), her goal was to explain why I’ve never been able to find a Fedora that didn’t look exceptionally awkward when sat upon my head.

Olivia came to her factual but unflattering conclusion after measuring my head with a Conformature. For those unfamiliar with the device, a Conformature looks like a top hat inspired by an 18th century prison. Bars that knit together to form the sides concertina around the wear’s head and produce a paper pattern when the operator forces pins, connected to the bars, to puncture holes through a piece of paper that sits in the roof of the mechanism.

Most Fedoras are designed for people with relatively round heads so, when a person with a “large, really long and asymmetrical head” puts one on, it causes the brim to lift and curl (or “cowboy out” as Olivia put it) - most unflattering unless you aspire to look like Yosemite Sam.
The experience reminded me of my attempts to find the right RTW last; it’s easy to find the right size but very difficult to find the right shape. Having wide feet (required for stabilising a body under the pressure of a large wonky head) means a shoe with a chiselled toe will unavoidably look long and ungainly. So I’m left with two choices; either stop spending my days trying on hats and go out and earn enough money to buy bespoke or resign myself to those styles that naturally suit my being: flat caps and Lodger’s English Classic line.

Flat caps and Lodger’s English Classic line it is!

The Footpatrol Campus and the Lodger Monk shoe have many obvious similarities – both are reinterpretations of classic designs with reserved asymmetry and on-point detailing. But it wasn’t anything inherent in the shoes that made me want to put them together.

Last week, I entered the Crooked Tongues competition to win 52 pairs of trainers (still open here) and one of the questions (mercifully few in number) was “[what's your] favourite sneaker store?”

My answer had to be Footpatrol.

From 2002, 16A St Anne’s Court in Soho, London was home to the most select sneakers and footwear. And for those who knew Footpatrol, the fact that it closed back in March 2008 won’t preclude it from consideration in any list of great sneaker outlets; exceptional staff and a stream of great collaborations meant the place was without a genuine rival and truly unforgettable.

So, in remembrance of the store and with London becoming all too grey recently (which, for most people, quite wrongly connotes the dismal: old age, Man United away kit 95-96, the bland, Gordon Brown) it seems proper to match-up the Grey FP Campus 80s and the Lodger Monk shoe.

The adidas Campus, having earned its reputation from the BBoys of the eighties, was one of the most iconic sneakers of its time. The Footpatrol version has a suede upper and tonal snakeskin stripes on the inside, providing asymmetry not unlike the Lodger Monk Shoe with its buckle strap. Both shoes are clean designs with just the right amount of variation to avoid being either a corruption of a classic or insufficient to constitute actual change.

Although I started this post with the seductive idea of free sneakers it seems the shoes I really covet are now only available at a savage cost on ebay or not at all, which reminds me of, and adds validity to, a Scott Roeben quote: “Sex is like Art. Most of it is pretty bad, and the good stuff is out of your price range.”

Of the many derogatory terms people use about footwear, ‘gimmicky’ is the one I understand least. In jest, I recently said to my sister that “the red soles on Christian Louboutin’s shoes are a shameless gimmick” and left the discussion feeling like a trainee carpenter had given me a vasectomy.

A feature like a gentleman’s corner – the missing section on the inside of the heel designed to prevent a trouser hem from catching – doesn’t just distinguish Lodger shoes from other brands but acts as a homage to a bygone era of shoemaking and reflects a design ideology.

Some of my favourite trainers of 2009 have, what appear to be, uniquely and deliberately marketable features. The CT Superstar 80s come with a set of removable tongues –originally seen on their BK3 adicolor Century Lo (May 2006) – and the Solebox Reebok ERS 2000s have rather fragrant orange scented insoles…

Altering any part of a shoe, classic or otherwise, might not make sense to everyone but doing so expands ideas of what is possible. Innovations, variations and reinterpretations, regardless of motive, intention, or success, are the principal ways a creative industry moves forward and as such should be applauded.

Now, as I hear a symphony of chisels and saws play in my head, I’m off to apologise to my implacable sibling. Wish me luck.

A friend, dating a woman with the distinct look of a bunny-boiler-to-be, is relentlessly forced to celebrate petty and obscure anniversaries. I empathise; the psycho-siren and the sneaker brand share the same distasteful appetite.

Few things annoy me as much as anniversary-coercion. It’s primitive to think the relative position of the earth and sun should induce a feeling of generosity. I am fortunate to have a few people in my life that (bizarrely) want to buy me gifts, but I’d like the gift giving to come from an organic desire rather than compulsion by astronomical circumstance. The gifts are invariably better as well.

And, as a fellow shoe obsessive once said, what’s true in life is true in footwear. Celebrating its 30th anniversary, the adidas Top Ten has seen several versions released that lack the brilliance of the February 2008 “1979” version. That shoe (pictured above) has yet to be bettered.

It was a triple collaboration with Undefeated (UNDFTD) and photographer Estevan Oriol and produced a trainer that keeps on giving. Accompanied by a handsomely bound photo essay book, the sneaker has lots of precise detailing including a basketball-like upper, gold coloured lace jewels and eyelets, and a transparent sole finishing.

All of which create natural pairing with Lodger’s Desert boot (also pictured above).

Just as the Top Ten made the cross-over from sports shoe to stoop shoe, the desert boot made the inevitable move from warfare to Mayfair. A clean two piece pattern, beautifully simple lines in biscuit suede and remarkably comfortable due to its unstructured, unlined upper - the desert boot is my preferred choice for all manner of occasions.

Don’t wait for a birthday to buy a pair!